The Wondrous World of Recruitement

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    Shadow
    Admin
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    The Wondrous World of Recruitement

    Post  Shadow on Mon Apr 07, 2014 3:18 am

    Good day, ladies and gentlemen

    I just wanted to let you guys in on the latest genius I've had to deal with.

    Meet Vexar!
    His application can be found here - http://auroraracing.betaboard.net/t573-vexar-s-application

        Short intro on him - he is a 23 year old male from Germany, he did not state his name, so we'll just call him Cupcake. Cupcake is quite active in the game, plays from 6 to 10 hours a week, which is cool, I like active people, because I'm not as active myself anymore.
    Cupcake has quite the experience in TM as well - 6 or 7 years :oThat's great! He must be a pretty good driver then!
    He's only had 2 teams, which means he is loyal, very good and an important aspect in my guidebook to recruiting. He clearly knows his history, Speed and Colas really are great examples of what AR is and what it stands for, represents. Plus he mentioned Let's Rock, which most of you know I have a real soft spot for (best server RIP).
    Promises to bring dedication, a slight German accent and humor to the team. He really does have a sense of humor, he isn't kidding (you'll see shortly).

        So yeah, his application looks very nice, he even linked his dedimania stats page, which I think is a first. He even said something really cool:
    Cupcake wrote:I'd love nothing more than to keep improving with a team of international and talented drivers.
    See, everything is great, apart from one little detail. Cupcake forgot to mention he's a dumbass.

        Following standard procedure, I PM him asking which game he wants to be tested in, yadda yadda yadda, same old, same old. Sure enough, it's TMNF, cool.
        I send him my copy/pasta, as I do. (Sorry to ruin the illusion of me caring enough to type all that shit over and over).
    For those of you not familiar with it, here:
    Shadow wrote:TMNF has been out for ages now, so this test will be harder than the one in TM2.
    You have 2 weeks time to practice these 3 maps and be prepared to perform on them. I won't reveal any specifics. On the day we agree to test you, you have to send me 3 replays of your personal bests on each of these maps.

    http://tmnforever.tm-exchange.com/main.aspx?action=trackshow&id=5477540#auto

    http://tmnforever.tm-exchange.com/main.aspx?action=trackshow&id=5455766#auto

    http://tmnforever.tm-exchange.com/main.aspx?action=trackshow&id=5407144#auto

        Fast forward a couple of hours, I get this


        A fast response, interesting. I am already suspicious at this point, either Cupcake is a cocky motherfucker and is trying to impress me with how sick he is, or there's something else going on here.
    I download the replays to watch them in this order:
    Bala
    Ninja
    Dirty

        After I see bala, I'm really impressed. It's no WR or anything, but it's a really cool PB for playing as long as he did. You surprised me, Cupcake!
    Then I open ninja...... After the very first cork I can see that it's not the same guy driving. No one is that inconsistent in style, unless he had short term amnesia and re-learned to play the game differently within hours. Disappointed at this moment, he probably asked a friend to drive it for him > he has fast friends > maybe they want to join? That was my thought process to make the best of the situation, but I had another clue as to what might be going on, but I thought to myself there's no way he would be that retarded.

        Unfortunately, Cupcake surprised me again. He was absolutely that retarded.

        He had the brilliant idea that he could just send me the replays from TMX. Not the world records, that would stupid. The ones a bit behind them will do! He will never notice! Genius.

        Sure enough, all 3 times he sent me matched a TMX record. Unlikely, but it could happen by chance, I suppose. So I checked his replays against the matching TMX runs, what do you know... he drove the exact same line as them. Still, could happen by chance, but a bit unlikely. By a bit I mean it's fucking impossible, are you kidding me? You have better chances of winning the lottery, getting a perfect march madness bracket (look it up, Euro peeps), finding Atlantis and catching me on a day where I don't insult anyone sarcastically (which we know is by far the smallest possibility out of all the examples given).
    Cupcake really pissed me off, but I'm a cool dude, so I didn't go nuts on him




        I just wanted to let you guys in on some of the retarded things people think they can pull off.

    Don't try to outsmart the system. Specially when the system is Shadow. I will find out and I will snap off your virtual dick and shove it up your virgin asshole. If you're a chick, I suppose we could figure out something equally as disturbing, if not more.
    So that is that, this is the story of 23 year old Cupcake from Germany.
    I hope you get bit by great white, dipshit.


    Oh, I said I wouldn't tell anyone. Whoops.

    This will be a sticky in the Application area.
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    Down.
    Supreme Dragondildo Whisperer

    Re: The Wondrous World of Recruitement

    Post  Down. on Mon Apr 07, 2014 3:40 am

    holy shit...  Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing 
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    rachel_bilson
    Birthday General

    Re: The Wondrous World of Recruitement

    Post  rachel_bilson on Mon Apr 07, 2014 6:10 am

    Made my day!  Laughing 

    I think we have to thank Cyril for not having uploaded a replay for Ninja Wink
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    cox
    Cardinal Mix Master of Aurora Racing

    Re: The Wondrous World of Recruitement

    Post  cox on Mon Apr 07, 2014 9:27 am

    kudos to you shadow- brilliant detective work m8- and might i just add hilarious to read aswell Very Happy
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    K.Kemzura
    Creative Squad

    Re: The Wondrous World of Recruitement

    Post  K.Kemzura on Mon Apr 07, 2014 10:26 am

    Once again, SuperShadow saves the day and the beautiful Sun of TrackMania and it's planet Earth, also known as AR, live for another glorious season of never-ending game bugs.
    Kudos, mate!

    NGTT

    Re: The Wondrous World of Recruitement

    Post  NGTT on Mon Apr 07, 2014 11:59 am

    Godamnit not that smart to do that idd Suspect 

    But one more time the great Shadow was here to make sure the holy law was respected !
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    realSinS

    Re: The Wondrous World of Recruitement

    Post  realSinS on Mon Apr 07, 2014 3:56 pm

    That....that was glorious. He had no idea what he was poking at. Well done!

    Fuchs
    Member
    Member

    Re: The Wondrous World of Recruitement

    Post  Fuchs on Mon Apr 07, 2014 4:33 pm

    Hahaha good job Shadow!  cheers 

    nimp

    Re: The Wondrous World of Recruitement

    Post  nimp on Mon Apr 07, 2014 6:38 pm

    Thanks for the good laugh.  Laughing 
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    marsh!

    Re: The Wondrous World of Recruitement

    Post  marsh! on Mon Apr 07, 2014 6:40 pm

    My face during readin:
     Wink  Smile   Surprised   Shocked   Suspect   Neutral  Evil or Very Mad   Twisted Evil   Laughing   lol!
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    Rexine❤

    Re: The Wondrous World of Recruitement

    Post  Rexine❤ on Mon Apr 07, 2014 9:04 pm

    *facepalm* I wonder what his plan was if he'd gotten in.
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    Kazh21
    Admin
    Admin

    Re: The Wondrous World of Recruitement

    Post  Kazh21 on Mon Apr 07, 2014 9:06 pm

    Oh jeez, i gotta screeshot this, incase of a sudden loss of internet-connection for the next 20 years. This is brilliant.
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    Down.
    Supreme Dragondildo Whisperer

    Re: The Wondrous World of Recruitement

    Post  Down. on Mon Apr 07, 2014 9:08 pm

    Rex Racer wrote:*facepalm* I wonder what his plan was if he'd gotten in.  
    good question... Very Happy
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    stretch1

    Re: The Wondrous World of Recruitement

    Post  stretch1 on Tue Apr 08, 2014 10:23 am

    hahah thats a first
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    Rockztar
    Driver Squad

    Re: The Wondrous World of Recruitement

    Post  Rockztar on Wed Apr 09, 2014 2:36 pm

    Laughing 
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    Vader!
    Member
    Member

    Re: The Wondrous World of Recruitement

    Post  Vader! on Wed Apr 09, 2014 3:18 pm

    it's not like any of us joined with legit replays either, amirite guys? Very Happy



    ...guys?  Laughing 
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    Rockztar
    Driver Squad

    Re: The Wondrous World of Recruitement

    Post  Rockztar on Thu Apr 10, 2014 1:13 pm

    Vader! wrote:it's not like any of us joined with legit replays either, amirite guys? Very Happy



    ...guys?  Laughing 

    Didn't even send any replays in  Cool 
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    Down.
    Supreme Dragondildo Whisperer

    Re: The Wondrous World of Recruitement

    Post  Down. on Thu Apr 10, 2014 1:27 pm

    Rockztar wrote:
    Vader! wrote:it's not like any of us joined with legit replays either, amirite guys? Very Happy



    ...guys?  Laughing 

    Didn't even send any replays in  Cool 

    me neither, because ghost wanted me to join  Laughing 
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    Shadow
    Admin
    Admin

    Re: The Wondrous World of Recruitement

    Post  Shadow on Thu Apr 10, 2014 3:05 pm

    Keep talking and I can arrange it for you lol
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    mangoara
    Premier Server Master of Aurora Racing

    Re: The Wondrous World of Recruitement

    Post  mangoara on Thu Apr 10, 2014 5:48 pm

    gotta give him credit for sweet talking shadow wit legit history stories
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    Hotsauce

    Re: The Wondrous World of Recruitement

    Post  Hotsauce on Sat Feb 14, 2015 6:57 am

    cool i am redoing all my replays from down now,...i wanna be a winner!!!!!
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    NJNETS
    Honored Member
    Honored Member

    Re: The Wondrous World of Recruitement

    Post  NJNETS on Sun Feb 15, 2015 1:34 pm

    Holy shit that is amazing great job shadow!! You know I put ppl through the gauntlet to get in haha. Your doing a great job!

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